Anger is one of our ten (10) basic, God-given, emotions. This emotion can be constructive or disruptive – depending upon our response.
Someone who goes around slamming doors, yelling loudly, and making life miserable for everyone, including them is one type of anger. Equally as damaging and destructive is anger that is suppressed, or “stuffed,” as it will only continue to destructively influence our behaviors and attitudes. Ultimately, even suppressed anger erupts from deep within the heart.
Do I …
- Become impatient easily when things do not go according to my plans.
- Tend to have critical thoughts toward others who don’t agree with my opinions.
- When displeased with someone shut down any communication with them or withdraw
- Get annoyed easily when friends and family do not appear sensitive to needs.
- Feel frustrated when see someone else having an “easier” time than them.
- Whenever responsible for planning an important event, are preoccupied with how to
- When talking about a controversial topic, the tone of voice is likely to become louder
and more assertive.
- Accept a person who admits his or her mistakes, but get irritated easily at those who
refuse to admit their weaknesses.
- Do not easily forget when someone “does me wrong.”
- When someone confronts me with a misinformed opinion, I am thinking of my
comeback even while they’re speaking.
- Find self becoming aggressive even while playing a game for fun.
- Struggle emotionally with the things in life that “aren’t fair.”
- Although it may not be right, sometimes blame others for problems.
- More often than not use sarcasm as a way of expressing humor.
- Act kindly toward others on the outside, yet feel bitter and frustrated on the inside.
- Give Jesus a “NANO SECOND” (just one billionth of a second!); to help me use all of
my emotions according to God’s design, for my life.
- Recognize and accept responsibility for toxic patterns of behavior
- Appropriately change my pattern of relating to others.
- Feel and talk about my anger in a healthy and necessary way.
- Recognize anger as my own and avoid hurting the objects of my anger, keeping my
anger as a feeling not an action. Looking at anger as a feeling may also shine light on a
larger hurt, habit or hang up hiding behind anger.
- There are 2 kinds of anger – healthy adaptive anger and unhealthy needless anger.
Healthy anger is based on being protective of myself or others. Unhealthy needless
anger is based on my being resentful which leads to my wanting revenge.
- Check my motives. Rudeness under the disguise of being honest is still rudeness.
- Live in peace, not in conflict. Remember that God is in charge of your life and He loves
you unconditionally. Commit to having a daily quiet time with God.
- Identify triggers, clues to getting angry and do something physical to get my adrenaline
rush and energy out in a healthy way.
- Confront in love to deal with what made me angry.
- Self-control is a mark of spiritual maturity, while giving in to outward anger (raging), or
giving the silent treatment (stuffing), denotes the exact opposite. Learn to ask myself
before I speak:
ü Is it true?
ü Is it kind?
ü Is it necessary?
My Emotions Are My Own Choice
I can choose:
- To be positive in my communication.
- To not withhold approval, acceptance, or affection.
- To not withhold my presence.
- To not seek false superiority feelings, or seek false inferiority feelings, therefore,
(Adapted from “The Anger Workbook,” written by Dr. Les Carter and Dr. Frank Minirth)