|Sexual Addiction – Men
|The Genesis of Our Addiction
Our lust started as an overpowering desire for pleasurable relief from inner pain, emptiness or insecurity, with which we could not cope. At first, it worked. For a time, sex with ourselves or with others dissolved the tension, relieved the depression, resolved the conflict, and provided the means to deal with, or escape from, seemingly unbearable life situations.
Eventually, our quest for relief became an addiction, and the addiction took on a life of its own. Pleasure and relief were gradually replaced with tension, depression, rage, guilt, and even physical distress. To relieve this new pain, we resorted to more sex and lust, losing more control in the process. We were driven to spend more time thinking about and carrying out our addiction, and lived in denial to avoid recognizing how much of our life our addiction controlled.
Finally, our addiction came to take priority over everything: our ability to work, live in the real world, relate with others and be close to God. What started as the cure had become the sickness. The Answer had become the Problem. We were hopelessly addicted to lust.
Overcoming Lust and Temptation
A new loneliness overwhelmed us as we realized that we had become increasingly separated from God and our loved ones. We began to seek sobriety, and as we stayed sexually sober for some length of time, we discovered that even though we may not be acting out our compulsion, our obsession was still with us.
We began to recognize the many disguises the Enemy uses to trick us into lusting. We learned not to rely on our failed and weakened selves, but rather, to turn to God’s pure love and absolute power. With increased reliance on God, we worked on recovery with altered attitudes and growing humility, and we gained progressive victory over lust.
As we yielded to God, temptation began to lose its control over us. When we admitted we were powerless and gave our lives and our will over to God, He worked in us, and we began enjoy a new balance in our lives. Leaning on and learning from others in the program, we continue to walk in His strength, gaining true freedom from lust and sin through obedience to Christ our Lord.